Dear PR Flack,

I hate to be rude, but it’s obvious that you didn’t spend a single moment targeting today’s pitch for your client’s “new convenient flavors” of CAFO torture sausage.

If you’d read even the first page of posts on our blog — or even, gosh, the About page — you’d notice that our blog focuses on sustainable, humane, local food choices. we do not eat, nor do we recommend, factory-farmed meat.

Maybe you didn’t get the message the last time I asked to be removed from from your firm’s contact list., so I’ll say it again: I have no interest in working with agencies who use spam-pitching as a substitute for actual PR work.

xoxo,
~ Anita

Dear PR Flack,

I’m so glad you found my experiment about curing and air-drying skirt steak so deeply moving. I’m sure that eating more of my nitrate-laced raw meat will help your women lose weight during their 30-day crash diet much more efficiently. Good luck with that.

xoxo,
~ Morgan